Spouse problems and how to deal with it?

When my husband and I first got married we had only been married for about 4 months we moved away to a different state he got a new job at his new job he would constantly talk positive about me with his "female" co-worker about a month later he Begin turning very negative tarts me he claimed that this co-worker of his had opened up his eyes and had made him realize I was a bad person. First of all this woman doesn't even know me or has never met me but she was already judging me. She use to tell him I didn't care about him because I let him work over-time, and that I didn't appreciate him, I was cooking for him to er him up because I was guilty of being a mean person and that I didn't care about our finances all I cared about is going out spending money. He took on a different position with a different company and I found her business card in his wallet with her cell number and email address he claimed that he was going to call her about a part time position she was going to help him get. When I called to confront her she threaten to call the police on me and get legal counseling for harment. I guess she must of permanently brain washed him to the point where we have been married almost 4 years and he treats me like dirt always putting me down and when I try to talk to him about not being so mean to me he denies everything Threatens to leave me and calls me a liar. What should I do.